Dear Will:

One of the things I love about kids is that they seem to run pretty much everywhere. They don’t think twice about it. When they want to get to wherever-they-are-not-right-now—ZOOM, they’re off. One of the standard games that kids play when they get together seems to be called “Chase Each Other Around.” It’s so fun. Watch recess sometime and it’s like the playground is swarming with starlings.

But throw a few years and several extra pounds on them and everything changes. Those kids become grown-ups and pretty soon it’s asking too much for them to walk 15 extra steps (round trip) to put away their shopping carts—as if the check-out line took the last ounce of energy they had left. “Can’t. Go. On. Must. Find. Water.”

My personal favorite is the guy at the airport who stands and rides the moving walkway. “Barely moving walkway” they should call that thing. It’s humming along at around three feet per minute (conservative guesstimate), but no matter. Our hero must do whatever he can to save his strength because he has five long hours of sitting in one place ahead of him and can’t run the risk of bonking.

But who am I to talk? I am an adult male who hasn’t played Chase Each Other Around in years. So it’s no surprise that the know-it-alls in my personal space are doing all they can to keep me from turning into RidingTheMovingWalkwayGuy. Which is why I now wear a watch on my left wrist that keeps track of the number of steps I take each day. My life insurance provider gave it to me in a transparent effort to keep me from making a claim on my policy. We have a simple arrangement: If I log enough activity over the course of the year and don’t drop dead in the process, they will not raise my rates when I’m up for renewal. Not a bad deal, when you think about it. Plus I got this sweet base-model Fitbit!

(Real life irony: My watch just buzzed to remind me to get up out of this chair and walk around. Curse you, Nanny State!)

You don’t have to be a Google Wizard to find any number of articles extolling the virtues of ambling about. Talk to just about any medical professional and they’ll make it sound like some kind of magic elixir. Here are just a few benefits I found in the first thing I clicked:

1. Counteracts the effects of weight-promoting genes. (Take that, Mom and Dad!)
2. Helps tame a sweet tooth. (Not sure I want that, but OK.)
3. Reduces the risk of developing breast cancer. (You can never be too safe, guys.)
4. Eases joint pain. (Not in my personal experience, but I’ll trust the science.)
5. Boosts immune function. (Yes, please.)

All of which is based on actual academic studies. Whatever. But there are additional positive side-effects that those smarty-pants at Harvard didn’t think to study. In my personal clinical trials (sample size = 1) I have identified these other compelling benefits of wandering around:

6. Makes you eligible for valuable prizes. (Provided, that is, you work for Canvas Worldwide like I do and participate in the 2024 Canvas Worldwide Steps Challenge—which is an actual thing.)
7. Provides a great excuse to get new shoes. (Confirmed through multiple trials, including this one.)
8. Delights the dog every time (Note: Must take dog with you.)
9. Gives you time to think. (Note: Must not take cellphone with you.)
10. This.

I probably could go on, but another hour has passed and my watch is nagging me again. Probably ought to get up and move around. Maybe challenge Dana to a quick game of Chase Each Other Around. Gotta get my steps in, after all.

PW

_{Photo by Ghassan Al-Sibai}